PCOS

I don't really know where to start. I've written a few blogs about what we have been going through but haven't published anything. Seeing my friends and family announce their joyful pregnancies is extremely painful. Watching Christmas go by without a pregnancy or a baby feels unbelievably empty.

I have PCOS which basically means that I have a hormone imbalance that causes my body to not produce eggs regularly. We have been doing Clomid, which is just a basic fertility drug, and we are on our second cycle. To be totally honest, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I am devastated. Writing helps, so I am going to write about it. I will post updates on our progress and hopefully you will keep reading. I'll also post the things I have written over the last six months, but wasn't ready for people to read just yet.

Shortly after I found out about my infertility I made a list on my phone titled Faith. Every time I hear a line in a song, or read a scripture, or hear something in a talk that gives me hope and strength I paste it on there. This is the quote that has held me together through the last six months:

Faith means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does—every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds—is for our eternal happiness.  -Dieter F. Uchtdorf